Episode 13- Is it too late?

A random search for the terms “gifted” or “giftedness” will yield at least an average of 90% child-related subjects and articles. But for many of us, childhood is long gone. So what are we to do? Is there such a thing as giftedness after grade school? In this episode we will investigate some very common concerns that gifted adults often express when confronted with their true selves, and we will discover why many of us resist or reject our true identities. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that you should “always do what you are afraid to do,” and for many gifted adults, that is confronting and coming to terms with who they really are. Rediscover your true self, and in doing so explore the myriad of possibilities still available to you to fulfill your purpose.

This episode was recorded from a tent in the middle of the Syrian Desert of Western Iraq.

 

Please, leave a comment or email me: eric@giftednessrevealed.com

Today’s episode is titled “Is it too late?” I have discovered this question to be a very common one among adults who discover the truth about themselves and giftedness late in life. Many adults that I speak with about the concept of giftedness express doubts that they could even be gifted. Many dismiss my ideas as nonsense or foolishness. Others reject them because they fear that making such a claim about themselves would be interpreted as arrogant or elitist. Even more so, many express to me that although they thought they could have been gifted at one time, because of the way life has gone for them they simply couldn’t be gifted. After all, they are not famous musicians, or world-class scientists, and the in the absence of any tangible “proof” in the form of major recognized accomplishments, they reject the idea that they could be gifted.

I often think of a famous study that I have frequently used in research over the years when I talk to people like this. This study was conducted by four scientists and researchers from Vanderbilt University. It included 320 students who’s IQ was an average of 180 or above. The inclusion criteria for this study was scores on the SAT. Participants scored either greater than 700 in Mat, or greater than 630 in Verbal on the SAT, all before the age of  13. This longitudinal study was begun between 1980-1983, and was published in 2001. Here are some amazing statistics to come from this study group:

• 78% were caucasian, 2% Asian, 2% “other”
• The subjects were divided into three groups based on their scores.
• High-Math group were made up of students whose math score was greater than one standard deviation from their verbal score. 169 Males, 16 Females
• High-Verbal group were made up of students whose verbal scores were greater than one standard deviation from their math score. 31 Males, 42 Females
• High-Flat group were made up of students whose math and verbal scores were within one standard deviation from eachother (indicating a more uniform knowledge and intelligence) 53 males, 9 females

• 95% of the students had been accelerated, or had received special education
• 82% had taken AP classes or exams for college credit
• 57% had taken college courses while still in high school
• 49% had been skipped a grade
• 25% used mentors or tutors
• 19% entered college early
• 71% were satisfied with the level of acceleration they had experienced. (Those that indicated that they were dissatisfied said that it was because they hadn’t been accelerated enough.)
• 93% had already gained a bachelor’s degree at the 10-year follow-up
• 31% had already gained a masters degree at the 10-year follow-up
• 12% had already gained a doctoral degree at the 10-year follow-up (23 ph.d, 9 law, 7 MD. This is over 50 times the base rate of expected professional degree completion in the general population, which is estimated at 1% of the general population)

The reason that I think of this study when I talk to adults who reject the idea of their own giftedness is because this study represents what I call the “Best-case scenario” for giftedness. These students, as bright and incredible as they were, did not simply wake up one morning and take the SAT and score that well. The story for these children began much earlier than this study. These students had to have received early identification and early intervention to have been able to achieve such impressive a feat. They must have had a great amount of parental guidance and peer support, and of course must have been given access to a great amount of accelerated material that was certain to be tailored to their learning needs. This study, to me, represents a picture of what can be achieved when the right ingredients are present and in the right proportion. Certainly the natural aptitude of these students cannot be minimized when we discuss their achievements, but aptitude alone would never be enough to enable them to do so well.

When we read this study, many people find it hard not to feel insignificant and intimidated by their achievements. I suspect that many adults, especially those that did not receive such special attention in school might wonder whether or not they missed out on such an opportunity for greatness? Perhaps these individuals might think that they missed their only chance? Many would point to this study as “evidence” against their own giftedness, illustrating that they only scored a 510 in Math, and that was when they were 17 and a senior in high school.

The reason I refer to this study is because those concerns and fears are rooted in a false understanding of the word “giftedness”. As I often like to say, Gifted is is not Gifted does. What do I mean by that? Well, I mean that we do not merely point to academic prowess and notable achievements as evidence of giftedness. In childhood we use these as our primary methods of identification because children are easy to identify. Almost all children pass through the stages of development in roughly the same time frames and at the same speeds. The sheer statistics of this fact has enabled the United States public schools to coordinate and design their entire system to tailor to the developmental stages at certain ages. When one child begins to move ahead at a much faster rate than their age peers, often by large leaps and bounds, it is relatively easy to identify them because they practically beg to be noticed (as many of your parents or teachers can attest to). But this method of identification is seriously flawed for several reasons. For one, not all children are motivated or willing to show themselves in this way. Many hide in obscurity and try to regulate their prodigy in order to avoid criticism or censorship from students and teachers alike. Adults, of course, can see right away that this method of identification has no place beyond high school because there are almost no situations in which adults are compared in intelligence across the board as they are in standardized testing and grade advancement in school. So with no obvious comparisons, and in the absence of any noteworthy achievements receiving critical acclaim, how is an adult to be considered gifted? By studying and exploring the common personality and phenomenological traits that most gifted adults express; that’s how. As Linda Silverman (1998) said in her article entitled “Through the lens of giftedness”, explains that “when we look for talents instead of giftedness, we focus on what individuals can do rather than on who they are, and we falsely try to understand them in terms of their abilities rather than on their individuality.”

Recently the term “gifted” has begun to fall out of fashion. In fact, the term “talented” is replacing it in many schools around the country because many find it a more palatable and politically correct term. The problem with this is that the word “talented” strays away from the original meaning of “gifted”. Its definition, according to Webster’s dictionary is: endowed with a natural ability or aptitude. This definition indicates that giftedness is not an activity-specific ability, or a certain level of mastery, but something innate; something we were born with. It is also important to note that the original founding fathers of the study of the gifted all used and agreed on this term as the basis for their research. It is important that we do not develop into a pattern of achievement-driven identification and definition. Why? Let’s take a closer look at the study listed above.
If you’ll note there were less than 100% of its members that had achieved a bachelor’s degree at the 10-year follow up. What happened to the other 7%? Were they not as smart as the rest? Were they not just as well endowed? Were they any less “gifted”? There are many studies that illustrate the same phenomenon that mere IQ does not automatically guarantee any sort of success in any given endeavor. Louis Terman (1947) in his 25-year follow up of his ground breaking research on gifted children even noted that several of his subjects had not only not gone on to fame and fortune, but had actually gone into ever declining states of vagrancy. An August 2007 issue of Time Magazine stated an interesting statistic: the number of drop outs in high school from children falling 2 standard deviations below the mean is actually equal to the number of drop outs from those that fall two standard deviations above the mean!  Why is this? Are the students above the mean not more intelligent, and therefore, more capable of understanding and handling the coursework? Were they inaccurately assessed? According to the “achievement-based model”, yes, they must have been. Obviously this is not so. Giftedness exists whether a child (or adult) is at the top of the class in science or engaging in theoretical research or not. Because so many people have adopted this false form of identification, many people are concerned because they don’t measure up to the societal expectations of the word “genius”, and in the absence of any major accomplishment they falsely demean themselves, and in doing so, deny their true nature.
So I return to the title of this post, Is it too late for the rest of us? What about those of us that didn’t have the “best-case scenario?” What about the many gifted adults that were tested early, but were placed in regular classrooms or denied the opportunity to receive accelerated or individualized education for various reasons? Is there really gifted life after grade school? Is there a way we can reclaim our true selves? Can we still strive to do something meaningful with our gifts?

The answer, of course,     is YES!

So what exactly can we do? You can start by honoring yourself. I’m not talking about puffing yourself up and adopting a narcissistic facade, but rather to merely begin to appreciate yourself, and your gifts, for what they are.

Stop devaluing your work and diminishing your own importance. Cease the impulse to define success in “all or nothing” terms. In the game of baseball a base hit is no less important, and even sometimes more important, than a home run. Thinking about success and achievement in these ways is dooming you to failure because almost none of us can win all the time, and even less of us are able to amass that kind of effort in every facet of our lives. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating hard work, celebrating strong effort, or recognizing improvements, no matter how small they may be.

Begin to recognize and appreciate your gifts, regardless if they are being used or appreciated by others right now. Perhaps you were supposed to be the next Yo Yo Ma or Celine Dion when you were young. Maybe you were on track to break records and have your name etched in some brass cup somewhere. Whatever happened to those dreams? Whatever happened to those abilities, those desires, that motivation and passion? There’s nothing that says you cannot return to it, even now. Sure, you might not be able to compete on the soccer field anymore, but surely there are ways in which you can reclaim that part of your life and its meaning to you.

What are you doing to create? Are you afraid to let your work be seen? Do you feel that if it’s not going to be celebrated or hung in a gallery that there is no inspiration to create? Why not return to those interests and allow yourself to dream of being published one day? After all, there’s no age limit to success.

Become involved. Learning to serve something greater than yourself is the truest way to overcome a host of personal issues, and there are literally hundreds of different causes to get behind. Perhaps you can serve a cause using your gifts. Can you write well? Argue a cause? Organize a rally? There are probably dozens of ways that you can could become involved in any number of worthy causes that would mutually benefit from the effort. Perhaps you might even consider becoming a gifted advocate in your community?

It is often said, but it truly is never too late to go back to school. When I was fresh out of high school I worked at a hospital in downtown Boston, MA. It was there that I met Mary, a 59 year old Harvard medical student in her third year. She was a grandmother and had worked her whole life in a successful, albeit unsatisfying career. Finally, when her children went away to college she decided that she had avoided fulfilling her dreams for long enough. She took the remaining pre-requisites, finished the MCAT, and was accepted into one of the most prestigious medical schools in the world. She was as humble and genuine a person as I have ever met, but she knew what she wanted, and her quiet determination earned her the respect of even the most bitter department heads. I’m not saying that Harvard is where you need to go, but if 59 is not too late to earn an MD, then how much more can you achieve?

Perhaps you can provide the opportunities for your children that you never had, and in doing so heal some of the wounds that were dealt to you through your childhood? Parents of gifted children, especially those that engage in some form of alternative or home school, will tell you that they learn as much or more from the experience than their children do. The satisfaction and excitement of watching your child achieve all they can must be one of the most rewarding experiences  of parenthood.

Last but not least, consider reaching out to others. Many gifted adults keep their identities to themselves, keeping with their juvenile attempt to fit in and avoid rebuke for being different. The problem with this, of course, is that if the average population of gifted adults accounts for only 2% of the general population, finding like-minded friends is already a challenge, but this challenge is even more thwarted by the reluctance of many of us to break out and reveal ourselves to one another. Consider sharing what you have learned with someone else that you think might be receptive. Perhaps someone else has already crossed that bridge with you and you merely nodded your head politely and kept your thoughts to yourself? Why not reach out? Do you really enjoy living in obscurity? Do you really like having no one to share your feelings or passions with? If you answered no, then why not do something about it? As I have said before, don’t be a gifted hermit.

My ultimate goal for this podcast is to create a community. In doing so, you must realize, I am actually doing what I’m espousing here. I’m reaching out to you. I am breaking my old habit of hiding in the shadows and dumbing myself down in order to find others who are like me. Accepting yourself for who you really are is the first step to achieving internal peace, true self confidence, and becoming a well-balanced adult. Consider ways that you can share your true self with others.

Whether or not you were identified at an early age, celebrated as the top scorer, won the state spelling bee, or graduated as valedictorian, you still posses the essence that made you who you are. Don’t deny your true self. Spend some time rediscovering who you really are. Maybe you can even rewrite the tragedies of your past in light of what you’ve learned about yourself. Accept and honor yourself for who you really are, and I think you’ll find yourself a lot easier to live with.

Thank you for tuning in to today’s post and episode. I hope you enjoyed the show and it inspired you a little bit. As always I try to leave you with a quote of the day. This one is from Adalai Stevenson. 

“Every age needs [people] who will redeem the time by living with a vision of the things that are to be.”

What will your tomorrow look like?

~ESV

References

Silverman, L. (1998). Through the lens of the giftedness. Roeper Review, 20, 204.

Terman, L. Melita O., Bayley, N. (1947). The Gifted Child Grows Up: Twenty-five Years’ Follow-up of a Superior Group. Genetic studies of genius. v. 4. Stanford: Stanford University Press.